Waiting

I have spent my whole life waiting for things. Waiting to be old enough for kindergarten, have my first slumber party, the chance to shave my legs, wear a bra, go to middle school, babysit, have a boyfriend, go to high school, go to college. All my life I have anticipated the next step. WHY??! I had great experiences at every stage of my life... Why can't I just be content with where I am now?

I've decided to put the extra effort into living for today and embracing it. I look back on my college days, when I couldn't WAIT to be able to move in with Chad, be done with school, have my own place. Well it's here. College was perhaps the best time of my life, surrounded by wonderful people, learning every day about what I love, and feeling good about who I am. And now it's gone. It's so different to not be around so many friends day-in and day-out, and I miss it so much. But I need to take things into perspective and understand that there is a sequence of things for a reason.

I am so lucky. I just started a job that I love and will only learn to enjoy more and more every day. I have a wonderful boyfriend who cooked me fantastic meals and played songs he knows I love on the guitar this weekend. I have the best 4 sisters a girl could ask for, who I know will stand by me in whatever stage of life I'm in. I have great friends who have not let the distance get in the way of our fun and laughter. I have a cute apartment which I am glad to call home. I have parents who support my decisions and are allowing me to be a grown-up, even though it probably scared them to send their little girl 1600 miles away. I am blessed beyond words.

And from now on, I'll live for now. There's no rush to get that ring on my finger... although I won't stop dreaming of being Mrs. Sarah Whitney (and I secretly have most of the details already planned for my wedding). I love babies and children so much but who am I kidding???!! I don't need a baby any time soon. That time will come. There are enough little babies and children around for me to share my love with. "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be GLAD in it!" I surely have a lot to live for, but I want to try harder to enjoy what I have at this moment, not what I will have in the future. Life is too good to look back and say- "Why was I in such a rush to get through that time?"

Chad and I have been taking walks every Friday night, when most people are in their pajamas, ready to sleep. We walk a few blocks to the Gore Place (a historic estate in our neighborhood), enjoying the company of each other, absent of worries of being too tired at work the next day. We walk in the moonlight, and sometimes bring a picnic blanket to sit and watch the stars. This time, I brought my camera and took photos with really long exposures. This is when I thought about all this. As I held the shutter of my camera open, I realized that my whole existence as a photographer is living in the moment... capturing slices of time which are impossible to return to. I need to hold on the every second that I am living- and not waste that wishing I were somewhere else (in time). Here are some images from Friday- they are all exposed with moonlight (and ambient light from the city) on long exposures which I didn't count- just exposed it as long as I felt it needed...

^^You can see the stars :)

So on I go- right now.

Love Sarah